Praise His Holy Name!
This testimony is very dear to my heart and I thank God every day for the deliverance and blessings that came with my repentance. I want to share this testimony because I know there is a lot of people who are going through or have went through something similar, if not, worse. I pray this softens and opens your heart to receive the peace that comes with FORGIVENESS.
Growing up, I lived in fear of my parents and as the oldest of 6, I had (what I thought at the time) many responsibilities in our home. Drugs had a hold on my parents that caused them to be physically and mentally abusive towards each other and us. That lead me to physically harming myself, attempts of suicide and a heart full of unforgiveness, resentment and hatred.
Deuteronomy 5:16 tells us of the only commandment with a promise and I struggled with that as I got older because of all the ill feelings I’ve harbored in my heart against them. And I continued to feel that way all the way until I became a parent myself.
As a mom, I understood now how hard, stressful and exhaust it is to be a parent, the constant worries to make ends meet and provide in a place that keeps kicking us down. Not saying the outlets they chose was okay but I understood. At the time of having kids, I was still living with unforgiveness and resentment but being a mom made me desperately need the guidance and love from my parents.
In 2018, my mom started getting into the word more and started to build a relationship with Christ. And seeing God do His Holy works on her was so evident in her life by how she started to speak, how she would react in certain situations, how we would converse and just all things. It was such a win and blessing to see her transform into the Mom I always wanted.
That lead me to want to seek out God and learn about Him. The more I got into the word, the more I was convicted about the unforgiveness, resentment, the ill thoughts and words I spoke about her and my Dad. It was hard to let go of all that because it felt like time and memories taken away from my childhood. Now I know that was the enemy!!!
I ended up sincerely and wholeheartedly repenting to the Lord and asking that he forgive me for my ugly heart and mind I had towards them after my Dad had passed on. That was the best thing I’ve ever done. I surrendered my pain, the hurt, the anger, the unforgiveness, resentment and bad memories to Him and he flipped it into the most blessed gift I ever received. And that was a beautiful and strong relationship with my mom. I’m so blessed to have her in my life and in the lives of my children!!! I can’t go a day without talking to her, seeking her advice, calling her just to see what she’s doing or if she has food or tattle tale on my kids lol.
Mom, if you’re reading this, I am so proud of the woman you’ve become. I’m so grateful for every sacrifice you have made and continue to do for my family and for our family. The woman you’re becoming Christ is such a mighty testimony I pray you share. Thank You Father God for my Mother!!